Monday, August 01, 2005

The Death of SmilingontheDL

Dear Friends,

First, I would like to thank you for all of the comments, advice and much needed compliments since the beginning of SmilingontheDL. You all have made me feel special. There were many moments that I posted on disturbing life experiences and you all were there; reading and assisting me through it.

SmilingontheDL started when I was going crazy. I needed a place to vent about all of my life’s uncertainties especially in regards to sexuality. At the time, I was alone in my battle with myself in determining where the G-Life would fit in my life. I had many escapades of self-hate, loneliness and lack of self worth.

Since the establishment of this blog, I HAVE COME OUT TO MYSELF. This was truly a blessing in disguise. As I started going to Church last January, my relationship with God has become intimate. If you know like I know, my God’s love is everlasting and has healed my self-inflicted hate, abuse and fear.

It seemed like my show was playing the same episodes (like they say, same shyt different day.) Blaming the world for every thing that went wrong in my life. I cried and yelled with my “why me” syndrome. Only to find out “its not about me.” I forgave many people in my life… took negative experiences with a grain of salt… learned how to relax, relate and release. Basically, I stopped BITCHIN. (Now, I call it testifying, lol)

Sure I have shared relapses; I’m human whose attempting to be stable. After rereading last year’s entries, I would probably have labeled myself “dysfunctional.” As I looked at the Man in the Mirror this morning, I tried to look beyond my eyes. I saw the many experiences that I overcame. I saw that my community needs me to use my talents. I saw my potential. I saw my continual happiness for myself. I saw strength, courage and wisdom instead of fear, hatred and the invisible man. In fact, I saw a REAL MAN! This MAN has grown tremendously over the last year.

This past weekend, I had a phenomenal time with someone special whose four day life exposure gave me reassuring thoughts that “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you going to get,” but with determination and confidence anything is possible. This person has inspired many thoughts of happiness.

It has been great entering the lives of many great people through their blogs. It is one of the most consistent things over the past year that I truly enjoy. To everyone I have had the opportunity to meet within the last couple of months.. THANK YOU! To all of the old school bloggers that I read… THANK YOU… To all the new and upcoming stars of the Blog World… THANK YOU!

En Vogue sang “Free your mind and the rest will follow.” My mind has experienced being freed. This taste has me feening for more. And I have one definite conclusion: to end the life of SmilingontheDL, allowing myself to manifest into someone new.




At 1:04 PM, Blogger Emotionalbrotha said...

yo man stay strong-
SmilingontheDL will be missed- but look forward to who u are becoming

At 1:48 PM, Blogger PISTACHIO JOE said...

hate to see u go. i'm just starting my bloggin journey and fellas is droppin out like flies. are u retiring like jay-z and jordan, and mase, and coming back to bless us with your presence later?

i hope so.

At 2:14 PM, Blogger lj said...

thats what I'm saying...change the name and come on back....gonna make me start screaming like Florida Evans...damn, Damn....DAMN

At 2:28 PM, Blogger The Lonely Optimist said...

Thanks for the great insights over the past year. I've been lurking a while...Sorry that my first comment is at the end.

Good luck on your journey!

At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Bernie said...

Are you no longer blogging, or no longer blogging under "SmilingontheDL?" Hope it's the latter.

At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remember the key is under the mat.
I'll miss you. You inspire me with your words.

Kevin C

At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Until the next episode!
I thank you and appreciate at you for the person that you are. Although I could stand your ass and I wanted to fuck you up when we had our chat-but you're cool with me!

I am happy for you right now and the moment that you're in. It's precious and enjoy it! It is the rest of your life! I am happy for you...

I treasure the side emails-and your past posts and I am glad to have been the subject in your last few days...

Catch you at the cross roads.

All The Best,

At 4:59 PM, Blogger The Divo said...


I go away for a week and people that I have grown to appreciate are calling it quits.

I am not at mad at cha'. We all have to live a life of separation, instruction, and transformation. If anyone should know that you should.

So, it is safe to say that however your cycle of life is going I hope that we can all recognize you for who you will become.

I am proud of you my brother, hope to see you on the other side.

As always in Parting,

I came in peace and in peace I leave.

At 6:01 PM, Blogger fratman1906 said...

I've only been in the blog community for a short while but I have enjoyed SmilingOnThaDL as a daily check & read. Till we meet again, be well. Shem hotep....

At 6:10 PM, Blogger jimmy woo said... a phoenix rising. stay strong and feel free to call me sometime dangit.

At 9:00 PM, Blogger Valentino said...

Oh Mah it's good that you've learned and we've learned with you..even if I haven't been here long...Stay Blessed...I know you will.

At 1:48 AM, Blogger Defiant Symmetry said...

Thanks for reaching out and being a friend. The internet can be a cold place, and every once in a while someone will reach out and show humanity and kindness. Your journeys served as a source of inspiration, sometimes laughter, but mostly hope. As your growth, as a man and as a spiritual being continues, know that the lives you have touched are better for it. Good Luck, and God speed.

Rich ~ Columbia, MD.

At 5:16 AM, Blogger No4real4real said...

Say it ain't so!!!

At 10:25 AM, Blogger ClayStarr said...

I can't wait for the reinvention!

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Chosen Brotha said...

I wished that I would have caught ur blog earlier. From what I have read, I have enjoyed. I just hope and pray that I will reach the same level of consciousness that you have. Indulge in your new found freedom brotha.

At 2:14 AM, Blogger Tim said...

Man...that's all I can say.

SmilingontheDL will truly be missed...but hopefully what you will become will be all good!!!

At 8:03 PM, Blogger Quaheem said...

Come back!!!!

We need ur NRG (energy)

At 10:30 PM, Blogger Rod said...

Awww, we miss you already. Stay strong and reinvent yourself as caterpillars morph into the butterfly. :0

At 8:56 AM, Blogger plotty said...

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading you. Your growth is evident and I understand all the reasons why "SmilingontheDL" has to die. A rebirth is in effect and all I can say is..."Go head brutha!"


At 11:11 AM, Blogger The Foxybrown Show said...

The Show will miss you bro however, you are with us in spirit and in word.

Keep Smiling!

Your Host
-Foxworth Brown

At 1:44 PM, Blogger P. Alonzo Harris Jr. said...

one of the most wonderful feelings is to be able to realize one's own be able to look back on the past, whether it be a decade or 24 hours, and realize that you have emerged from yet another of life's cacoons and came out stronger and more prepared for the next....

stay strong....

At 5:17 PM, Blogger Betty Crocker 2 said...

Although i came in at the end,i will leave you with these words of encouragement. Stay strong and never forget life is a prcesses and you are well on your way to learning and loving. remember Betty is in the kitchen cooking come on by for a bite to eat her kitchen is always open.

Betty Crocker

At 6:07 PM, Blogger Dirk said...


Thanks 4 that revealing post. Good luck...keep us updated.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Stone said...

Like the phoenix out of the ashes you are reborn. Life is wonderful and change always brings something entirely new.

At 4:37 PM, Blogger Troy N. said...

wow..I'll really miss you.

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All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such. We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are not statements of historical fact and may be "forward looking statements." Forward looking statements are based on expectations, estimates and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. This profile is in no way affiliated with the featured company. We were compensated one thousand dollars from third party (IR Marketing) to distribute this report. Forward looking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Section 17(b), we disclose the holding of FGS shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance on forward-looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to differ materially from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is for informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial advisor before you do anything related with buying or selling stocks, penny stocks are very high risk and you can lose your entire investment.

At 1:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wanted to share this quote with you, found it on a buddhist website, and made me think of you --

Though one should conquer a thousand times a thousand men in battle, he who conquers his own self, is the greatest of all conquerers.

-- Gautama Buddha

a friend in Seattle, WA


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