Make that change
I have problems, lol. I am extremely compassionate and sometimes emotional. One of my closest friends, Devon goes to school in the DC Metro area. He wanted to join an organization that I belong to. He has been seeking membership since last fall. Since the first week and January, my friends and I haven't heard from Devon. I've called him several times.
Early this week, I was worried because he would have told us if he was going through the process. Tuesday, I called one of the members from down there to find out what is going on. He didn't call back. I called one of my friends yesterday and he tells me that Devon just called him. He informs me that at an campus event some FagHag girl told the members of the organization that she had seen my boy at the Edge last year (DC get down club). I don't know the full story, but the members rejected his application for membership on the basis of what the girl said and I guess my boys defense.
After hanging up, I immediately tried to call Devon. No pick-up. I understood that he wanted to be alone. Most of our friends knew he wanted to join the organization. I cannot even imagine how he must feels. To be on a college campus as someone who is on "the low" and be expose. Why couldn't this B*#$h mind her own damn business?
Devon is apart of six men that I try to mentor. I'm closer with Devon because we both get down. Whenever I am on the verge of a huge breakdown, he is always the first person I call. He understands me like no other. He has faith in me, when I have self-doubt.
I really don't know what to do. I can't reach him. I know this is just the beginning of a bigger problem. A brother expose on campus. He is one of two friends that reads this blog, if you're reading, I LOVE YOU! CALL ME!
This made me mad. I also started to think about myself. What would I do if I was expose. To be honest, I probably would deny it until I was blue in the face. Devon's situation made me think about life. How life brings many unexpected changes.
My mother called yesterday morning. I had a little attitude because she called while I was going to work. I don't know why I had an attitude because I speak to my mom every morning. She tries to monitor what I am doing. Moms was sensing the attitude and said, "you know what, you call me when you want to call me.. have a good day."
Toward the end of the day, I was talking with the receptionist at my job. A woman that I assisted in putting her in school was on the public phone leaving a message. I overheard the woman say, "I don't have a number to give your right now... I'm homeless." Many of the people my job assist are going through financial difficulties. It doesn't matter how many times someone tells me that they are homeless, I want to cry. This sista is going to school and I just received her grades and she received nothing less than a B. Our people need soo much help. This triggered how thankful I am.
As I left my work, I called my mother. She was quite surprise that I called her. Asked her how her classes where coming along. She giggled and ask if I wanted something. So, I go on and tell her, how she is appreciated. I think I blogged about it backed in December. My mother works full time, goes to college full time, takes my sister back and forth to work on a rotating schedule in addition to having raising an 17 year old son. She manages to have dinner on the table, makes sure my brother is feeling out college applications and get this she calls me everyday offering me help if I need it. My mother can piss me the f off. But, she has been the sole person that has been consistent in my time of need. I began to tear up on the phone because my mom is awesome. She is my motivation. I haven't told her, but I'm working on another fund-raiser for the battered womens shelter that we used to live. My friends and I are going to donate the money in her name. I hope someone will write her life story someday.
As I entered my apartment, I felt BLESSED. God has been so good to me. Although I go through my trials and tribulations, its seems that no matter how hard they are, I come out on top.
But, that's me. I come out on top. When my brothers and sisters can't get jobs, housing or food. I need to do more. I'm asking for that guidance to point me in the right direction.
Gandhi writes, "be the change you wish to see in the world."
Micheal sings, "if you want to make the world a better place you better look at yourself and make that change. "
Yes, Life does bring the unexpected, but its up to us to LIVE and LEARN. Some changes are good. Some are bad. But, "the only thing constant in this world is change." India.aire